December 20, 2004
Tearing Up
On September 1st, 2001, I lost my job. On September 11th, you know what happened. I knew there was no chance of finding a new job anytime soon after that.
So I decided to freelance. To make it a bit more legitimate, I started a business bank account and kept it all separate. Used the business debit card for business expenses, etc. It was pretty cool to have an actual business of my own that I could deposit checks to and buy equipment from. And I could also transfer money from it to my personal account when I needed money for personal things. It was nifty. I liked having that business bank account.
After about four months of looking for clients, I found one. A couple months later I found another, and started making more money than unemployment would have given me.
In a little less than three years, it became clear that it would make more sense to incorporate. You can make more of your money work for you, and it gives you some protections, as well. So earlier this year I incorporated, and I have my very own corporate bank account. I've learned how to do payroll, how to form an individual 401(k), and how to keep my business and personal lives even more financially separate.
And as a result, my little business account has been left straggling behind. It's stopped getting deposits since all the money goes to my corporation. After a while, it fell below the minimum balance that you need to avoid fees.
So it was time to cut the little guy lose. I transferred the remainder of the money to my personal account. When it had a zero balance, I called Wells Fargo and had them close it out.
It was just a todo list item, that's all. But when the guy said, "Okay, it's gone. Can I do anything else for you?" I froze. There was part of me that didn't want to get off the phone. I stammered a bit and said no, I guess that was it... paused a bit more, and hung up. His last instructions were to tear up my business bank card because it wouldn't work anymore.
It was hard. 9/11 was the first time after college that I was ever looking at long-term unemployment. And before then, I always felt slightly victimized when I was working in cubicles for large companies, since it didn't fit my personality. That bank account kind of symbolized my transition away from feeling completely helpless, to self-sufficient in a way I that I never felt while working a 40-hr week job. I also am not sure I would have gone this direction if 9/11 wouldn't have happened. I saw my choices after 9/11 as acknowledging that the rules had temporarily changed, and that I needed to improvise in some ways I normally wouldn't have had to do. So in a way, I saw my freelancing career as a bit of an asterisk.
So I guess tearing that card up brought it home that that transition is over. It doesn't have to do with 9/11 anymore, and this period of my life isn't an asterisk anymore.