June 06, 2003
Personal Update
As time goes on, I'm getting more interested in politics than ever, and this weblog is a big reason for it. The writing I've been doing has just happened to push me in that direction.I joined the Dean meetup crew tonight for Portland and I'm hanging out on the lists and seeing what goes on. It turns out they want music composers for various media projects so I signed up for that too. I haven't attended any meetings yet but I might in the future. I'm still not entirely sure I want to endorse the guy - I like what he says, but he still just looks a little bit funny to me. People might scoff at me for making that judgment, but I'm of the belief that the form someone takes reflects their essence - and if I see him hunched over a bit too much, lips tight together with teeth open inside, looking up out the top of his eyes, then I'll draw the conclusion that he's still a pretty closed off guy. Not entirely sure yet that he's who he presents himself to be. His smile's a bit weird too. When he's not relaxed, his smile looks a bit too much like The Joker. However, I really do think that sort of thing will solve itself over time, as I suspect most of that is due to him feeling pretty nervous and compressed inside as he gets things moving. He'll get used to the higher stakes.
I'm thinking a lot about politics in general, and especially what it means to be powerful in that realm. What political power is, how it is used, and more recently, how that kind of power contrasts to what true power is. This ties into how I'm viewing myself and what I can do in my own life to accumulate more power but also wield it responsibly. I think one of the bigger issues with it is reconciling the idea of power with the idea of having power over others. One thing I find unfortunate is that as people become more powerful, they attract more people to them that want that person to have power OVER them. It's a bit creepy and I find myself resisting the idea.
This is relevant in several spheres in my life right now. For my business, one of the possible next steps would be to accept employees. For my writing, there's becoming more of a respectable source... eliciting reaction, and the accountability that suggests. In general, putting oneself out there in any way means that one is more accountable, either to others or to oneself. It's hard to reconcile the power you gain with the freedom from responsibility you risk losing.
Other than politics, I'm looking for my first house, and it looks like that might be settling itself very soon. The hunt starts in earnest this weekend. Soon after that I'll be getting that grand piano I've wanted since I graduated from college with that degree in music. I'll be getting some good condensor mics and may soon be posting audio files of some of my compositions here afterwards.
My programming business is going well; it seems relatively solid and stable. I have room for another one or two main clients but I can't complain about what I have right now.
And it looks like I'll be expanding that business into a more wide-ranging production services business. In addition to programming, I'll be sending out referrals to local graphics and media professionals. And that opens me up to being able to provide services in the other main area I am interested in - music production. I've started to do some film scoring lately, from a side project of my own, to an indy film in NYC. I've potentially got some other projects including an audio drama project and an art documentary, and a friend of mine and I are putting together a demo tape to market ourselves to local media groups for some income. I hope it takes off, both in terms of outside interest, and in terms of my own passion really latching on to it. Right now it's one of those things that I'm really abstractly interested in, but I'm not yet sure if I will enjoy doing it twenty hours a week.
So that's the personal update. Time to get back to posting commentary and links, I guess.
There's a chance I'll be revamping this blog to have the politics and the technology each have their own page. I'm still mulling that one over. Let me know if you have comments.