April 01, 2003
Tamara's Jokes
"Hey, want to hear a joke?""Sure."
"Okay. Um..."
Uh-oh. I get sucked into this every single time. When Tamara is in the mode to tell a joke, she doesn't always quite have one handy. She just feels like telling a joke, so dammit, she's going to tell it whether she has one or not.
"Why did the marmot... um...."
She definitely doesn't plan ahead, either.
"... kiss the squirrel?"
Okay, here's where I'm feeling a bit of relief because this is the part of jokes that I like - where I can try to anticipate what the intended punchline might be. So I give it a quick scan, can't come up with anything.
"I give up. Why?"
"Because... um..."
Oh my God. See what I mean about getting sucked in every time?
"Because... he wanted his nuts. hahahaha ..Because he's a GAY marmot! So wait, Why did the GAY marmot kiss the squirrel?"
Faintly: "Why?"
"Because he wanted his NUTS!"
Later on she told me she had another joke, after she had been quiet for a few moments. I begged her not to tell me. She said I would definitely laugh. I gave in.
"So there is this whale. And it's a male whale, okay? And there's also a female whale. And... they're married. The whales are married. But there's also a dolphin, too... And the male whale started to get jealous... because he was SURE his wife, the female whale? was having an affair. with the dolphin. But the female whale said she WASN'T having an affair, but the male whale was really sure that she was, and he was like, "Why are you having an affair with the dolphin??!" And, so do you want to know why he wanted to know if his wife was having an affair with the dolphin?"
"Okay, why?"
"Because he wanted to know his wife's porpoise."
I swear to god, I laughed harder than I have in weeks, although I honestly wouldn't be able to explain all the reasons why.