February 25, 2003
Repression vs. Talk Therapy
Plastic: Put It In A Bottle; Keep The Cap Tight: Healing Through Repression - This idiotic post about this idiotic article got me riled up to write a reply, but it looks like plastic.com is having server problems so I'll have to post my reply here instead.The emphasis was on comparing repression to "talk therapy" where people are encouraged to go into their feelings by talking about them. The flaw with this approach is that many people assume talking about it all is what "going into your feelings" is all about, and they don't go any further. I know that there is other healthier counseling, but I still believe it's the exception rather than the rule. Here's the reply I wrote:
Posted by Curt at February 25, 2003 02:22 AMI can't believe anyone hasn't pointed out the basic flaw here; that repression versus traditional counseling are the only options. What a false choice.
Repression means you're refusing to let yourself feel the pain. Talking about it often just means you're talking around the pain, getting all mental about it, verbally acknowledging that you have pain, admitting it, etc.
Neither one of them show a commitment to actually feeling the pain. Feeling as in letting yourself submit to the feelings, committing to them, physically expressing them.
It's a way more complicated subject than it sounds because many "mentally ill" people think that that means a nervous breakdown or that people will take them away, or angry people think it means that they'll lose all control and hurt someone or themselves, or anguished people think it will lead to so much despair that they will just off themselves.
But it's really the refusal to feel it that's most dangerous. From the repression that might not have any immediate external symptoms but can lead to severe depression and a dehumanized existence later on (or an explosion), to an overemphasis on "talk therapy" which can lead to more and more anxiety as the feelings surface but never quite get expressed...
No one seems to accept anymore that a really, really intense cry, or bout of fetal-position shaking, or screaming and punching into one's pillow until exhausted, can be an immensely healing experience. Because when they think of someone suggesting that, they only hear the scoffing and impatience of someone judging against their weakness.
People need to be reminded that being encouraged to physically express their emotions isn't always evidence of intolerance or ignorance of trauma or mental illness. It is *the* most important part of any emotional healing. And it does not require either repression or talk therapy.