October 16, 2001
Inviting Emergence
I was explaining to a friend about how I have been feeling pregnant. Metaphorically. (Side note - if I have to EXPLAIN that it is metaphorical, is it still a metaphor?) The next big idea is coming... but has no form yet. I don't even have any reason to believe it's coming soon. I just know I'm working hard to create space for it, and hopefully it will manifest soon... and hopefully I won't be sitting around, bored, waiting for it for too long.Things are definitely different than they used to be. I'm not talking about the post 9/11 "in-general" stuff. I mean for me individually. I used to worry so much about security... surrounding myself with structure... it seemed to go hand in hand with my innate cautiousness, my aversion to adventure (or at least adventure I couldn't control). Now it seems I couldn't care less about security. I'm happily living in my expensive apartment, unemployed for six weeks, not really looking too hard for the next thing. I've actually been quite content to just open up my ears and listen for invitations. And I'm starting to get bored with routine, too - REALLY bored. I might find myself going on some huge adventure before I know it.
But really what I want more than anything is an idea. Something to evoke passion, something to be single-minded about, yet something so encompassing that I feel that all of me is being exercised in the effort. I just sorta feel like I want to go BIG for once - something that doesn't have a low ceiling.
So I'll be writing. Hunting the World (even if only (pseudo-)metaphorically) for my Muse. I'll be writing, sometimes with big ideas, sometimes with flights of fancy... sometimes with mindless drivel. And it's your choice to be subjected to it. :)