Hunting The Muse

So, I said no

So, I said no to the salaried position. Yeah, it sort of surprised me too. It definitely surprised the folks that made the offer. It wasn't really a decision against Pacificorp. It was more against being a consultant.

What I'm frightened about is that if I'm going to live with these standards, I am unsure if I will ever be able to say yes to a salaried computer position again. Right now it actually leaves me feeling more motivated to try and find salaried work (or at least more part-time work) to ease my fears. But there is probably a more direct way to learn from what I'm frightened about. Actually, I can think of plenty of salaried technical positions I'd say yes to - however, none of them are around here or are available right now. Many corporations are still in that spiteful "I'll show THAT dotcom worker who's boss!" mentality and it's no fun. I'm not sure they'll ever get over it.

It looks for now like the freelance position will work out, so we'll see. We agreed on a rate today, and that felt good - a rate I feel pretty solid about. It feels fair for now, considering it would be my first freelance gig. But for some reason this has all left me feeling a lot more pressure about employment. I must have just gotten into that mode.

Maybe I'll feel better tomorrow. Posted by Curt at January 29, 2002 12:02 AM