Hunting The Muse

So I sort of

So I sort of ran out of gas before I really finished moving. This happens every time I move - there's always a few boxes that I never quite get around to unpacking. I feel sort of grumpy about what they represent - a bunch of areas of my life that don't quite fit anywhere, that were left unresolved, but still are enough a part of me that I can't just throw them away.

And I just thought of the perfect word for them. They are barnacles. They were all things that were free-floating, things I was enthusiastic about at inception. And it felt like they were enthusiastic about me, as well - they spoke to me and inspired me. Now that time has passed and they are older, they just sort of stick to me, like how a barnacle sticks to the hull of a boat.

Step back, zoom out. Psychically, I've been feeling stuck. Not unhappy, and I've definitely got a feeling of progression in my life, which is nice - at least in terms of my freelancing. But growing... evolving... I'm not so sure about that. I talked to a good friend recently and he said that when that happens to him, it's usually because he's spread too thin.

Well, that's definitely something I'm susceptible to. But how do you get out of that? It's those damn barnacles again. You have to start cutting things out of your life. You have to be ruthless. Or, you have to let old promises fall away. I don't like that, ever.

So I guess that's my next challenge... to figure out how to streamline things and build up energy again, without being a totally unreliable jerk.

Then maybe I can unpack those last few boxes... Posted by Curt at June 18, 2002 01:33 AM